How to get rich, stop working, and live the rest of your life in a hammock.


I would probably read a blog post with that kind of title. Not sure about the hammock. Not sure I’d ever really want to stop working. Not sure I want to be rich. But, as a three-for-one bundle, I’m almost convinced.

I borrowed a book from a friend entitled Advertising Headlines That Make You Rich. The book is $31 and 133 pages long, costing you about 25 cents every time you turned a page. Someone got rich, that’s for sure.

My headline skills are weak. They are weak because I want to write strong headlines that don’t sound like all of the other headlines out there. I want headlines that are different. Unfortunately, this is what leads me to write headlines like “Stupid things high school kids have yelled at me from their cars” and “Derechos, which are not the same as nachos.”

Killer headlines, I know. I mean, who wouldn’t want to read something like that?

So I borrowed the book. And, with what I learned, I decided to create a few of my own headlines based on the principles outlined in the book, each chapter dedicated to a specific headline format.

I create these headlines for you, free of charge, to use as you see fit. If you ever write a book using one of these headlines, I would probably buy it.

1. Get Rid Of That Annoying Downstairs Neighbor Once And For All

2. Who Else Plots Against Their Downstairs Neighbor?

3. Thousands Now Get Lost In Teen Vampire Book Sections Who Foolishly Thought They Were In A Real Bookstore

4. Create The In-Office Drama You Can Be Proud Of

5. Give Me 5 Minutes A Day And My Blog Hits Will Rise By 200%

6. The Lazy Writer’s Way To Successful Writaslkfjhasdkjhdjkf

7. Do You Make These Three Social Mistakes? (Someone please write this one.)

8. Look Like A Million Dollars And Have Twice That In Debt

9. If You Don’t Handle Your Dandruff Problem Now, You Can Make Snow Drawings Come Alive In Detention

10. Do You Recognize The 7 Warning Signs Of When Your Upstairs Neighbor Is Going To Get Medieval On You?

11. The Most Amazingly Incredibly Awesome Adverb Collection Ever

12. See How Easily You Can Get Hit By Vehicles Despite Being A Legally Crossing Pedestrian

13. What’s New In Betamax Technology?

14. 10 Ways To Steal Political Signs While Walking To Work

15. New Concepts In Ideas And Concepts

16. The Secret To Looking Absolutely Gorgeous Using 20 Credit Cards Or Less

17. Why Some Businesses Almost Never Have Problems With Their Copiers

18. 5 Problems Most People Have With Copiers

One of the headlines listed here was actually a sample from the book. Which one do you think it was?

3 responses

  1. For some reason I feel like reading “Why Some Businesses Almost Never Have Problems With Their Fax Machines.”

    Glad we bought the book. “How You Can Achieve A Creative Breakthrough For Only 25 Cents Per Page!”

  2. I retired three years ago, I own a hammock, use it ocasionally, have never, nor will I ever be rich. I never made a dime reading all those ” How To Get Rich ” books in my hammock. A little extra money would be nice though, there are quite a few items on my bucket list that I haven’t tackled yet. Maybe I should get a part time job? Naahhh!

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