You might remember me. This afternoon, you yelled out the window of your SUV at me.
I was walking home from cleaning the office and running errands downtown. Traffic was light, the sun was bright, and I was tired. I had sunglasses on, and a blue shirt. The light had turned green, which means the pedestrian light was white, and I began crossing the street at the crosswalk. You were turning left, but didn’t have your blinker on. You started turning into the intersection while I was still crossing, and I saw you, but I was already there and was crossing with the light. Maybe you didn’t think I was walking fast enough, and you were so exhausted sitting there inside the air conditioned comfort of your vehicle as I slogged across the hot pavement on foot that you just couldn’t wait a few moments for me to clear the right lane.
I then realized you were purposefully making a wide, sloppy turn to get your SUV as close to me as you could and I thought it odd, but kept walking.
And then you rolled down your window and yelled at me, you white-cowboy-hat-wearing 50ish-year-old douchebag, “It’d be a lot healthier if you paid attention!” before roaring around me.
You know, I’m tired of being harassed and nearly hit because I choose to walk instead of drive eight blocks. I’m tired of drivers who ignore pedestrians and bicyclists who are following the rules and cross with the light at crosswalks, or merely walk down the sidewalk and get nearly taken out because you’re roaring down the alley and assume you only have to be concerned with vehicle traffic.
I’m tired enough, you moron, that I turned around right away and yelled back at you. “I am paying attention! I have the right of way here! You’re wrong!” and was instantly ready to hop onto the running board of your truck and lean into your window and continue the discussion.
At that point, as you slowed for the red light at the intersection one block down and hollered back “that’s not what it looked like to me!” I took off running as fast as I could in your direction. A dead sprint. I would be at your window soon, as you sat there at the red light, and I was going to let you know what unhealthy was and I guess you got a little nervous because usually when you yell at people out of your car you can drive away and feel really superior and never mind that you may have completely ruined another person’s day.
So there you were, you big tough cowboy in your gas-guzzling SUV, unaware of the rules of the road, seeing me running towards your vehicle to continue the discussion. What did you do, you gutless wonder? You made a quick right turn and roared off down Rosser so I couldn’t catch you.
If your license plate hadn’t been covered with mud, I’d have made use of it.
Do you know what kind of man yells something rude at a woman, and then hurries away when he realizes she’d like to discuss it more? A man who needs to get a pair. But I bet you hit the high notes really well.
I hope you never hit a pedestrian, but the way you drive and the fact that you think motorized vehicles take precedence over pedestrians makes me think that will be unlikely. People like you should be forced to get their ass out of their vehicle and have their license taken away for a month so they can get an idea of what it means to walk as a form of transportation. All you know of walking, you prick, is how to walk from your garage to your truck to your house to the parking lot and insult women who aren’t walking fast enough.
Pedestrians are real people out walking and not mere insects or pests in the way of cushy trucks and SUVs. I want recourse for all the near-misses, the eyeball-to-truck-grill, hands-on-the-hood, that-was-close moments I’ve had to experience not because I’m not paying attention, but because drivers are lazy or aren’t paying attention. Not once has any of these near hits happened because I was breaking rules or jaywalking, but because I was following the rules and drivers were distracted and zipping around or impatient and exhibited behavior I didn’t expect them to.
Let me tell you, there’s no way I’m wandering around unaware of what the traffic is doing. Every intersection I approach I take stock of the traffic and try to figure out what behavior the vehicles are going to follow before I step off of the sidewalk. I can guarantee you that, at this point, I’m more hyper-aware of the actions of the cars at an intersection than you are, you simple-minded hairless ape.
I hope I run into you again. Pretty sure I can convince you it’d be a lot healthier if you kept your SUV windows up and your big yap shut.